I HATE MYSELF

It suck !!! I dun know wat wrong with myself lately .. I just feel so tired and mono in everything i do ... Somhow, it just so different from last time. I hate my work now.. i hate everything that around me .... Bascially, i hate myself now .... I dun know wat wrong with me ....

I always thought that i had lot of friends around me .. After wat happened to Miss F, I m wondering .. Do i have friend in the first place ??? X'mas is coming .. And i m just trying to recall back wat i do for the past few yrs ...I just realise that it the same ...
Same as .... SAME PARTY, SAME GROUP OF PPL, SAME FACES.. SAME OLD BORING XMAS .....
Do i ever enjoy myself there ??? I dun even know y i m there when my Best friend Mr S is not even there now ???? How many ppl that i can reli talk to when i had problems ?? How many actually understand me well enough ??? It sad that i m like the only one that hole on the friendship when others dun !!!!!!
I m like trying to recall How many friends of mine actually know my likes and dislikes ???
Does anyone ever know that i hate to peel prawns ?? I actually like to eat cake ??

It make me so lonely at times even thou i m surrounded by them at party cause I m so odd of the group ... Prob i m not longer like last time .. prob i m not who i m anymore !!!!