Points to ponder .....

Those who are still single may learn something from here....
Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage....
DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question? She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are Good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer. EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in lovewith your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, andliked their idiosyncrasies.

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was acompletely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" inlove...

Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept off my feet." Think aboutthe Imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were juststanding there; doing nothing, and then something came along and appened TO YOU.

Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It'sthe natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome(when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of beingcute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic differencebetween the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller oreven angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on theeuphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire thatexperience with someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. Peopleblame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelityis the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, afriendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.

I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. Youcould and TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a Few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to"make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "thelabor of love."

Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specificthings you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity),there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet andexercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause andeffect. If you know and apply the laws, the results arepredictable...you can "make" love.

Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling!